


Calm Before the Storm

by ABeautifulBreakdown



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Be with me, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Force Bond (Star Wars), Heavy Petting, I Run warm, Kissing, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is a Gentleman?, Rey Needs A Hug, Sleepy Cuddles, So much kissing, Take my hand, bring me the girl, snuggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23158369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABeautifulBreakdown/pseuds/ABeautifulBreakdown
Summary: After the events on the Supremacy Kylo Ren has been consumed with a need to find her again. That little sand mouse from Jakku plagues his thoughts, driving him to the point of insomnia. Between dark whispers the the glimmer of her light, will he ever find a moments rest?
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	Calm Before the Storm

Darkness. Fear, and hatred, and so much darkness. His quarters feel suffocating, vacant of any emotional or worldly attachment save for his grandfathers mask. A relic and reminder of a path he’d chosen. The melted and charred remains of a legacy wrought with pain and tragedy. A legacy he found himself destined to repeat. A tormented soul turned to the darkness. A man with whom the light should have come so naturally. A man with whom the light now shied. A child born of parents who hadn’t the time to spend with a youngling. A child connected to the force in such an intense capacity it lay his vulnerabilities bare leaving him ripe and ready for corruption. 

The whispers had started young, so young in fact he could scarcely remember a time without them. Slipping into his mind on soft fluttering tones it was a nudge here, an urge there. A constant reminder of his short comings and constant comparison to the great Luke Skywalker. 

He’d thought the whispers would stop when Snoke was killed. After all, hadn’t it been the Supreme leader pulling his strings like some twisted puppeteer this whole time?

Why then did they plague him still? 

Lying in his quarters, his mind a whir with thoughts and feelings. Confusion spiking through the crashing waves of the force. He could never tell when he was sleeping or awake these days, his dreams a vivid reel of images and feelings so close to reality that they now dogged his waking hours. The sheets of his bed were crisp and cool, he’d barely spent any time there lately. The pillow still like new, his dark hair spread across it in a halo of chestnut. The sheets fell haphazardly across the bed, kicked and tugged from hours of trying to find peace. He hated these moments. The quiet, the dark, the utter silence that left his mind to wander. He hated how naked he felt. Undressed down to a simple pair of sleep pants and sleeveless sleep shirt. It left him bare and vulnerable in a way he hadn’t felt since he was a youngling. In a way he hadn't felt since he went by the name…  
“Ben…” 

Now the whispers sounded like her.

The scavenger from Jakku who had no earthly idea who she was or where she belonged. Her story was a blank page scribbled on by a child, filled with holes and inconsistencies. A no body who wielded the force with such natural intensity it set his nerves to flame. He’d never experienced anything like her before. A curious little sand mouse who’s very light and radiance seeped into the broken cracks raked across his soul. 

“Ben…” his name came more urgently this time, a reminder of what he’d lost. Not simply his family but her as well. She’d turned away from him, turned him down and ran to those thieves and liars she called her friends. 

Eyes still closed his hands bunched the sheets in a fit of frustration. He just wanted a moment of peace. He wanted the whispers to stop, the scent of her to leave him, the feel of her force energy gone. There were times he could almost swear she was right there.  
“Ben…” came his name again, louder now, more insistent. He inhaled in frustration, mind bogged down by the sweet smell of earth, sky and wookie. 

Wookie?

His eyes shot open, hands scrambling in the sheets as he forced himself onto his elbows nearly careening off the bed in the process. And, there she was. Her clothing had changed, she was no longer wearing tones of pale greys and black. He found her back to the beige cropped pants and tightly wound top, her sand scarf wrapped around her body carefully. Wisps of chocolate brown hair stuck out at different angles, her face flushed as though she’d been running. She was hot, he could tell by the way her cheeks pinked slightly. Her forehead was just a little damp, breath coming in steady puffs. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” he said, his voice harsh from disuse. 

Rey seemed contemplative a moment, her toes tapping at the ground as she reached across her body, hand groping the alternate elbow. It was an insecure gesture to be sure and something about it sat poorly with him. “I didn’t think I’d come.” Was her reply, eyes looking anywhere but at him.

It took him a moment before he knew what to say. Pushing himself into a seated position his knees tented the sheets, his body folded over so that his elbows rest upon them. “Why did you then?” 

“Couldn’t sleep” she mumbled, barely audible over the hum of star destroyers engines and cooling unit positioned above his bed.

“Were you… running?” he asked quickly, taking in the image of her one last time. Her feet were leaving wet sodden prints on the floor around her, but as he looked closer he could see what he thought was sweat may in fact have been rain. Her hair seemed damp too and as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting he could see moisture beading on her lashes. Dark eyes lined with a sort of sadness he could now feel rippling through the force around them. “Are you ok?” He added for good measure. 

Her weight shifted from foot to foot a moment before her arms dropped to her sides left to swing there just slightly. She appeared to be struggling with something, words, feelings, maybe a thought. He couldn't quite tell, his own mind addled with sleep deprivation that was verging on torture. As he shifted forwards, long, lean legs now crossed at the ankles, his torso hunched forward, he saw more then felt the way her fingers trembled ever so slightly. “Rey…” he said, his voice pleading, “Rey, are you ok?” 

The question seemed to break some of her resolve, her teeth worrying at her lower lip as she looked him in the eye and shook her head with the slightest no. It was quick, tentative but obvious. Her shoulder strained beneath the weight of some imperceivable burden. In that very moment he wanted to go to her, he wanted to take her in his arms and hold her, cradle her against his body and keep that gorgeous light of hers safe. The light he coveted beyond all else in the galaxy. She may have turned him down and she may yet turn him down again. A thought which tortured him endlessly. But, she was there, like the missing piece of a half that had never quite been whole. 

“What do you need?” he inquired softly, he dared not move in fear of scaring her away. 

Tears now welled at the corners of her eyes, beautiful brown pools lined with heavy lashes. He felt her struggle, her tentative step which faltered as her lips pursed together. If he closed his eyes he’d be able to follow her, the way her essence radiated through the force, like sunrise at dawn. 

Without thinking, he extended his hand to her, no underlying meaning, no coercion. He offered himself in way of comfort for in that moment he had nothing more to give.

Her mind was a mess of thoughts and jumbled emotions. She was like a frightened tauntaun ready to bolt at the slightest hint of trouble. The tears trailing down her flesh now fell like quiet rivers. He could see as they tumbled from lashes splashing against the apex of her cheek. He could feel as she cautiously reached out to him through the force. Its soft inquiry licked delicately at the dark walls he had erected around his mind and heart. She was probing for information, an understanding of his position and intent.

“Rey,” her name tumbled from his lips softly, brown eyes imploring her to take the offered hand. “It’s ok…” he gave her a sad sort of smile and with that she broke. Her foundation crumbled away and he found himself slammed with the full force of her. Waves of sadness, confusion, and hope melded together in a cacophony of emotion that crashed into him like a sandstorm. Her fingers grazed his palm, the energy hopping between them like a live wire as her knees buckled and hit the edge of the bed. His stark black sheet fell in contrast to her cream coloured clothing as her small form collided with his chest. She had used the offered hand to pull herself into him, folding up like a youngling scared of the dark. Ironic that that was all he had to give to her,

“Shhhhh” he hushed softly, adjusting his legs so that he could fall back against the bed. The shift in position barely registered to Rey as she nuzzled and buried her face into the broad expanse of his chest. She inhaled deeply, drawing in everything that was Ben Solo. The earthy sweet scent that mixed with something spicy but comforting. The warmth of his body all encompassing as his arms enveloped her completely. One of his hands found her hair, toying absently with one of its loops. She could feel the warm dampness of her tears moisten his shirt beneath her nose. Rey was sure he could feel it too and yet he said nothing. 

Instead he simply held her, laying on his side so that she could fit into the hollow his body created. She could feel his breath ghost over the top of her head. His cheek found its place nose nuzzling into her unwashed hair. Rey suddenly felt incredibly self conscious, eyes which had been closed suddenly open in embarrassed realization that she probably didn’t smell very good and her skin was clammy and cold. He mumbled something she didn’t quite catch against the top of her head as her fingers toyed idly with the exposed flesh at the base of his throat. 

“It’s ok” he seemed to repeat, his voice hitching slightly as she drug her finger tips back and forth in a soft slow rhythm. It was seemingly mindless at first until she realized her motions mimicked the steady beating of his heart. The force bucked and wavered around them, dark meeting light as the two shifted like a cocoon around them to meet in a perfectly balanced harmony. 

A soft smile drew across her features and there it was. Peace. “Do you feel that?” her voice hummed against his chest, cheek nuzzling in an attempt to achieve just a little more friction. To get a little closer still.

“Mmmm,” he offered in way of response. It was tranquility like he’d never felt it before and in that moment the whispers stopped. He couldn’t feel the darkness, just pure energy. A fluctuation of currents that rippled over them, through them and reached out beyond, dancing slowly in low vibrations. Like two pieces joined to make a whole they fit. It was her body trembling against him that drew him back to consciousness. His mind registering the dampness against his black shirt as well as her slowed breathing. “You ok?” He asked again. 

Rey giggled softly yet sadly, nuzzling tighter against his sternum, “Just cold…” she muttered peacefully. “You keep your room so chilly.”

Ben smirked, a light scoff of a laugh all he could muster, “I run warm.” 

“Mmmm,” she muttered in agreement, “You do.”

“Here,” Ben offered, drawing back ever so slightly. There was a whimper of a sound that he could almost believe came from Rey as he shifted away from her for a moment. She remained curled up on herself, her cheek nuzzling into the bed where Ben’s warmth had just occupied. Her shoulders drawn up, hunched forward as she cradled her hands together peacefully. The feeling in the force shifted slightly, yet remained tethered to them, serene and calm. 

Reaching for the heavier blankets he kept bundled up at the foot of the bed Ben nudged her as he brought himself back into their position. Propped up on an elbow he smiled softly at her as she scrunched up nose. He found himself running a long finger down its bridge to poke her gently at its tip. “Come on,” he said quickly, prompting her to move, “Let’s warm you up.”  
Rey didn’t move at first, she didn’t want to of course but the promise of warmth was too much to pass up. His arms, his chest, the very essence of him was like a med-pack for her battle wary soul. Cautiously she shifted, lifting her head then shoulder to allow him to settle back into their desired position. With him came the blankets and the heat of him radiated beneath them. This, this was what her soul had wanted, had needed, had craved even. This is what had been missing. “Are you going to tell me whats going on?” He asked softly, his voice pulling her from her mindless contentment. 

“Nnnnmph” she moaned pathetically, “sleepy now.” 

Ben however wasn’t about to give up. The force pulsed a little quicker around them, a rolling ripple as his concern permeated their peaceful bubble. He was idly rubbing his hand up and down her bicep as the other hand returned to its mark buried within her hair. “Rey…” he cajoled patiently before placing butterfly soft kisses across the crown of her forehead. The touch of his lips across her skin was electric.

A sigh, a puff of air against his sternum and she wiggled back just slightly so that she might look up at him better. “Don’t you ever get tired of this all being… I don’t know… just so hard?” She asked almost childishly as if expecting to be scolded. She was staring ahead at his clavicles before she finally looked up meeting his eye. 

“Life is pain,” he offered her stoically, the words catching her off guard.

“And so much more then that!” she countered. Her eyes found his sternum again as she watched her fingertips trace along the line of fabric that covered his torso. “Do you feel pain now?”

Ben thought a moment before offering a slow, “No…” He adjusted his face against his pillow to get a better look at her, “If I’m being honest though I don’t think I’ve ever felt so… like this before” 

With a nod of agreeance Rey splayed her fingers across his chest. Watching as her sun kissed skin set against his pale pallor. She felt his hand slip from her upper arm down and along her skin until his large hand covered her own, their fingers twining together. “I can’t remember the last time I was able to think this clearly, to hear my own thoughts without the echo of something dark.” He admitted. To her or to himself he wasn’t quite sure but the words had now been said out loud. 

He felt her force energy flicker with a renewed hope, causing a pang of pain and regret to worm its way through his body. “This… it doesn’t change…” he started.

“It changes everything,” she finishes with a smile resuming her cuddled up position, “It just doesn’t have to do anything right now” she offered with a smile. 

This he supposed he could accept. What other choice did he have just then? He could accept it and possibly drift off into a fitful sleep for the first time in too long. Or, he could fight this and ruin what was shaping up to be a perfect moment. 

All was quiet and still a moment. The only whisper that of flesh tracing patterns across flesh as his fingertips ran lines up and down her arm. “How does this work anyway?” Rey suddenly blurted out, her head drawn back again the look up at him quizzically. 

Caught off guard Ben’s eyes, which had been closed shot open at the direct line of questioning. “You close your eyes and rest?” he offered not entirely sure where Rey’s thought processed had taken her. He felt her giggle, a vibration against his skin and a gleeful reminder of her proximity. He wasn’t quite sure what else she could mean, it was all pretty straight forward. His arms, her body, his chin, the crown of her head. The soft fluctuation of the force coddling them, holding them safe and still. Yet it wasn’t so simple was it? “Oh…” he said suddenly very cold himself. “I don’t know…” He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out in this very moment either. The idea of her warm body gone and missing from his presence didn’t sit well. And yet, she wasn’t truly there was she? She was on a planet in some other star system. She was actually far away, it was the force holding her here. The force that connected them on a deeper level then any he’d ever experienced. 

“The Jedi texts don’t seem to have much to say on the topic of whatever this is.” She offered quietly, adjusting her head some so that it peeked out beyond the heavy blankets he had so kindly wound around them. His body stiffened slightly at the mention of the books, he wasn’t aware she’d had them. “Stole them…” she admitted lightly causing him to laugh. A deep rumbling noise that shook his chest unexpectedly. She loved the sound, finding herself pulling away from his offered warmth to watch as the most glorious thing happened. Ben Solo smiled. It was broad and bright, all beautiful white teeth and dimples. His eyes crinkling in a mirth that was slowly becoming infectious. It may have been one of the greatest moments of her life. That sound, so pure and real. 

“Master Skywalkers little padawan is a thief,” Ben mused lightly, “once a scavenger?” he offered in a playful tone careful not to ruffle her too much as her origin story was one of a sensitive nature. 

“Well he didn’t want to teach me…” she mumbled into his chest, if there was any sign of hurt or if the comment had been ill received there was no sign of it. She was stating a simple fact, as if she were saying ‘your hair is brown’. “I will admit though, teaching myself has been a challenge. If I’m being honest your mother is a better Master then your uncle ever was.” 

Ben stiffened again, trying to pass it off as a shift in position as he rolled onto his back pulling her arm to drape across his chest. He wasn’t willing to part with this closeness. Neither it seemed was she. However, the movement couldn’t mask the trembling in his force nature, not a shift away from the light but a fear mixed with regret and notes of sadness cocooned within the tender love that a boy has for his mother. “She never…” He started yet faltered, trying again to find what he wanted to say. “I think she was more connected then he was. She just didn’t draw attention to it. It’s too difficult to play the political game when you’re carrying the weight of a Jedi order on your shoulders. Uncle L…” he started but quickly back tracked, the quaver in his voice making way for a more resigned tone, “Skywalker,” he amended almost too harshly, “He was the Jedi figurehead. He was the beacon of hope. General Organa was a political genius, they were a good pair. With Han Solo to rock the tide every now and again.” 

She’d never heard him speak so candidly about his past before. It was raw, a quiet admission of something more then his penchant for darkness. A reminder that he had a path and he wasn’t simply born to this state of mind. He had a life, a past. His story had been written long before his time with iconic parents and an Uncle made from legends. His lingering smile faded into resigned sadness, eyes boring into the ceiling and vents above their position. He was lost to her for a moment, skipping off through memories he was not ready to share. Memories he might never be ready to breath aloud. She watched as his eyes closed softly, his chest raising and falling at a smooth and steady rate now. He was beautiful, hard edges and intensity. His long face and strong jaw line peppered with days old stubble, something she’d never noticed on him before. Then again, she’d never been this close to him either. 

Without thinking, Rey moved, adjusting her position. Her head angled just so providing her with the proper leverage to meet his cheek with a kiss. Sadness wavered to curiosity, curiosity mixed with the faintest glimmer of hope and something she couldn’t quite place. It was warmth, like light and affection but deeper, almost visceral in nature. Not carnal like she had experienced before. Not the need to come together physically necessarily but a need to be known. In that moment she felt closer to him then she ever had before. He’d dared to hope for her. Her lips, and the softness of her affection brought to him the flickers of something he’d never before thought he wanted. A life past the Order. He could feel where her lips had been just seconds before, the spot warm as her nose dusted across his cheek now with a sweet tenderness.She may not have been aware of it but, to his mind, to his heart, she was perfection. Her light to balance his dark. They came from such different back grounds and yet stood a mirror image of one another. 

With hopeful eyes he turned to look at her, a soft stare filled with a vulnerability he didn’t know how to mask, “Rey,” he began softly. Her name on his lips drawing her attention. He took this opportunity to shift back onto his side his top hand coming to lazily push a strand or two of hair behind her ear. The backs of his fingers drawing a delicate line down her cheek while his dark eyes searched hers for a moment. He spoke without a voice, a pleading of understanding reaching out for her as he edged his face just a little closer. “I’m going kiss you, okay?” 

It was a request, a question more then an instruction. Her breathing hitched, yet she didn't move away. He took this opportunity to read her face, sweet, kind, and imploring. He needed to know she wanted him to kiss her. Not sure why it made the difference but it did. To him, with her it mattered. 

The motion was slow but deliberate. His hand cradling her cheek softly, allowing enough slack she could run if she wanted. He desperately hoped she wouldn’t, and after a mere seconds his lips found hers in the softest of embraces. It was tentative and sweet, like a younglings first time, scared he was doing it wrong. Ben feared how she might react so their lips held like that for a moment. Soon he found his eyes close as he drank in the experience. Her fingers coaxing their way through his hair, tracing delicately the outer shell of his ear. The touch earned her a shudder and he shifted closer, deepening their connection. What started out soft and pure, was urged into something more. There was a need in his touch, an urgent desperation to be understood. His mouth pressed just a little harder, nose brushing against her cheek as he poured himself into it. Finger tips pressed just a little firmer into the softness of her cheek encouraging her to take the reigns. He wanted to know, needed to know his touch wasn’t unwanted. That he wasn’t taking advantage of their position and her obvious need for comfort. 

His patience was rewarded with a soft intake of air, her breathing quickened as she shifted her body against his. Desperate fingers now tightened their hold as they laced their way through the roots of his hair. The slight tug of her fingers met with the insistence of her lips left tingling waves of electricity radiating over his scalp and down his neck. It was the right amount of sharp pressure. That little bit of tug that encouraged him further.

His lips shifted, opening tentatively to allow his tongue to lazily trace her plump, kiss swollen lower lip. She encourage him with a soft purr, drawing her leg up over his hip in a moment of needy vulnerability. It was perfect, the way their mouths connected, her sweet scent suffocating him. It was suddenly everything he had ever needed. A thought, a desire that pushed him forward, arching his body to connect just a little more, a little deeper. He felt the warmth of a tear as it slid down soft lashes to land on the hand he held cupping her cheek. His breathing quickened, hips arching forward as the need consumed him. Her desire rippled through the force in such intensity it nearly drove him mad. It was heat, and need. Hands and finger tips dancing across flesh. He could’t touch enough of her, he couldn’t have enough of her. 

She was everything, a soothing balm for tormented consciousness. Her light made everything ok, everything steady. Without thinking, he rolled to his back, or maybe she had pushed him there, he wasn’t quite sure. Desperate need pulsed around them as their kissing deepened their change of positions putting her in a place of power. The thought made him nervous at first, apprehensive as her lower region hovered over his hips. His need for her strained beneath his sleep pants. Had he time to think about it he may have been embarrassed but in that moment he just needed her to shift her weight. He wanted her to slide her knees along the bed just a little more so that the warmth of her core might connect with his and he could have just that little extra. That little bit of something more. That deeper piece of her. 

She was insistent with her kisses, lips moving in a steady rhythm, setting their pace to one of patient desire instead of wanton need. Her forearms rest across his shoulders now as both her hands lost themselves in the thickness of his hair. It was so soft she realized, thick and wonderfully soft. Her fingers massaging against his scalp lightly earned her a guttural moan this time. A soft inhalation through his nose as his throat rumbled with a soft keening want. He was careful she observed hazily. His hands held her hips but didn’t push or urge. She could feel him through the force. His desire was palpable and thick yet he didn’t push her position. Instead, fingertips massaged and kneaded at her thighs as she balanced on wary knees not sure if she was ready for the full affect of his want. Sure she could feel it through the bond they but there was a difference between a knowing and an experience. Rey wanted to saver the moment, freeze it in her mind as a reminder that the great Kylo Ren was no more then a hollow mask Ben Solo hid beneath. 

He would never be Kylo Ren to her again. Ben was the man beneath those full brown eyes. Ben Solo was the man who's large hands slipped beneath the fabric of her shirt to trail delicate fingers across her low back. He was so incredibly gentle, strained against his fear of the dark and desperation for the light. It would be easy, she knew for him to delve into that comforting abyss and just take her without warning but instead he experimented with the flicker of a flame that wavered between them. She was sure it was likely an intense exercise in control, her own strained against the sheer desire to feel more of him, all of him. 

Ben seemed to pick up on that thought, his lips pausing a moment, pressing deep as he inhaled the very being of her. “Mmmmnnnph,” he grumbled against her mouth, “Rey…” he spoke, his lips moving against hers. The sound of her name was a warning. Muffled and strained but it did something to her, vibrating deep within her. She could feel his resolve chipping away. His body like a furnace practically glowed with the heat radiating off his skin. Her fingers seized, grasping his hair at the root as she pulled away. Her eyes fluttered open to see his own eyes closed in glorious tormented agony. The ghost of a pleased smile met his lips, so he liked that she thought and smiled in turn. With doe brown eyes she watched him a moment, curious from her perched knees as she slowly, resolutely allowed her hind quarters to drop against him. The warmth pooling between her legs met the hardened state of his arousal and in that moment she watched him, truly watched him.  
Back straightening as her backside met his thighs, she allowed her hands to draw down his stubble smattered cheeks. His lashes, long and dark hid eyes so deep with want she nearly had to look away. This wasn’t her first relatively intimate encounter but it was the first one like this. Other boys had been all hands and sloppy kisses at first before the act turned into nothing more then self gratification. There was no torturous slow build up, now understanding of how they worked together. It was carnal and quick. A release to distract from the misery and loneliness that surrounded them on Jakku. She’d never known a man to wait, to hold back and simply experience her. She’d never experienced this level of conscious connectedness. This deep knowing of her partners deepest wants and needs. Rey had never been so intently wound together with another human being that she could scarcely tell which desire was theirs and which her own. She could feel the idea of his hands ghosting up her body, slipping across the warmth of her belly and up to her tightly wound chest. He was imagining these things and in that she too could feel his need for them. Instead of acting on these desires however, he just watched her, his hands sliding down to rest at her backside. His thumbs turned in circles as he waited for her next force guided instruction. 

There was no need to speak it seemed, their minds linked in the energy around them. Her fingertips splayed against the dark fabric of his chest she quirked her head to the side. He appeared peaceful in that moment, strained, yet peaceful. She could feel how desperate he was for her to shift her hips just a little, but he stilled. She could sense how much he wanted her lips back against him, over him, all over him. The thought brought a soft blush to her cheeks and a coy smile to his lips. Still, he did not move. Her hands did though, palms gently massaging the flesh beneath his shirt. Fingers tracing down across his clavicles, over pecs to pebbled nipples gaining her a slight squirm from Ben’s hips. Yet he simmered painfully, watching her face as she watched her hands, slipping down, down, down across the plains of his stomach just shy of the area their bodies connected. With a slight rocking and squirm of her hips she wrestled the fabric of his shirt from beneath her thighs. It was a motion which Ben seemed to quite enjoy. His lips pressed together in a pleased but pained line, his own hips bucking just a little against her. Quickly he seemed embarrassed at his lack of control. She could feel him wrestling with his demons, urging his body to be still and calm as he allowed her light to stroke at his resolve. Rey was grinning as her fingers met flesh, sliding up under his shirt. First soft fingertips, then creeping digits before the full flatness of her palm was resting against his abdominals. 

He was fit, she’d known that but somehow the realization she was faced with seemed so much better then her idle musing on the fact. Confident hands moved a little more assuredly hiking up the dark fabric over his pale skin, exposing the flesh beneath. She explored the texture of him, the way running her fingers across the underside of his belly button made his breath hitch. He was oddly hairless but for the soft trail that started just below his navel disappearing down between her legs and into the waist band of his pants. “How old are you?” she said quickly, her voice startling Ben from his previous script of thoughts. 

Narrowed eyes looked at her curiously as he played with the words in his head a moment. Of all things he may have been expecting, that was not one of them. There was a quirk of a smile, a flash of white teeth and breath of a laugh as started to snicker to himself, “What?” 

“How old are you?” She repeated, “You know, what year were you born?” The thought had never occurred to her before. They could be the same age sure. Or, he could be a very healthy looking fifty year old man. Not likely as she played the age of his parents over in her mind but maybe the force caused people to age differently. Distractedly she started doing the math in her head. When had the battle of Endor been? 

“Does it matter?” he asked with a soft laugh, the corners of his mouth still quirked in a smile. He adjusted his head so that it now cocked slightly to the side, his hair surrounding him in a sweeping halo of chestnut. It lay at all angles, slightly static-y from Rey’s previous tugging and stroking. 

The conversation slowed but did not cease her hands, they tickled and teased their way over his stomach. Zigging and zagging as the edge of her blunted nails scraped deliciously across his taut flesh. “If you’re actually some creepy old man then yes.” She responded but did not stop. She was curious but seemed confident enough to allow her hands their adventurous exploration of his topography. 

Ben playfully rolled his eyes and shook his head, “That depends on what you consider old…” he quipped, suddenly wondering himself how old she was. He’d always assumed they were around the same age. He’d assumed that with their connection through the force he had all he needed to know about her. Now the truth was staring him straight in the face, there was so much to know about the scavenger from Jakku. So she still had yet to learn about herself.

“Fifty?” she hummed fingers dragging painfully slow against the underside of a well defined pec. 

Laughter erupted loudly from his still body, his hands stopped their quiet circling and he just laughed. It was an odd sensation, to be perched a top a man who was in such a state of want that you could feel it while he belly laughed beneath you. Hands slipping back down against his stomach she could feel as his abdominal muscles contracted with every deep booming chuckle. “You…” he stammered, his head knocked back agains the pillow slightly exposing the column of flesh of his neck. “Fifty, really?” he spoke through fits of laughter. It almost hurt it had been so long since he’d experienced this sort of mirth. “You think I’m some lecherous fifty year old?” 

His laughter brought a smile to her lips as she watched him in the throws of it. Force be damned he was beautiful and now it seemed that beautiful man was mocking her. She thought it a simple enough question, of course he would make this more difficult then it needed to be. Still, the sound of him laughing, the breathy way his body surged in the wake of it. It was one of the most heart warming things she’d ever experienced. His smile could light a thousand systems if he’d just let it reach is eyes. A true smile, which he blessed her with now rocked her very core increasing her want for him ten fold. He was warm and sweet and he radiated light in this very moment. Not the brightness of a sunrise but the rumblings of dawn. It was like watching the sun wake up, painting the sky in azure blues. 

Quickly without much thought Rey lunged forward. Her knees shifted against the sheets, her body pressing firmly against his. Hands against his stomach dented blunt nails against his sides as they slid down making room for her against him. Before he could register what was happening her lips found his neck and she was kissing at its exposed flesh. Teeth scraped against the tender paleness as her nose nuzzled and tongue lapped softly drawing a line slowly along his pulse point just below his ear. Her attentions were awarded with the most delicious growl, his hips finding purchase against her own want of him. His resolve was fraying beneath her movements and she couldn’t help but find herself grinding back against him. It was almost embarrassing how warm and damp she found the area connecting their bodies, his own need pressing a hard line against his thin clothing. Much more of this and there may be no stopping. 

“Mmmmmmph, Rey…” he ground out through clenched teeth. Still she continued, her fingers ran the length of his obliques before digging her fingertips in and dragging them down his frame. He squirmed just a little, her mouth below his ear humming a soft breathy sweetness before nipping softly at his ear lobe. She took the small piece of flesh in her mouth, laving it with her tongue delicately. “Rey…” he warned again, his voice dark and urgent with want. She could see the cracks in his concentration, and in wall he’d built up to control himself. There was emotion there foreign to her. Something akin to affection that melded with desire and radiated warmth. The fury of force energy bucked and slammed against those cracks. A suffocating torrent of all his admiration for her. It was intoxicating, and yet the more she moved the further she could feel himself retreating back within his own mind. 

“Be with me…” she muttered, her voice a light vibration against his skin, “Stay here…” Her lips stopped, nose soft and small rubbing its way down his neck now until her lips found the juncture between his neck and shoulder. She could feel his breathing, hard and steady as he waited on pins and needles. Pinned between her longing, her want and desire and the bucking fury of his own intent. The darkness beckoned him and yet he resisted, he focused on her, her lips, her hands, her thighs. The whispers were gone and all he could hear was the soft hushed melody of her light singing to him through the horizon of their affection. 

His mind was a whirl with her, and it was deliciously maddening. This was the part of the Jedi order he couldn’t understand. How could anything this real or this pure be bad? How could someone deny themselves such perfect harmony and think it wouldn't have a negative impact. Ben felt more peace, albeit a tortured peace in that moment then he had in his entire life and this was wrong? 

Rey took that moment to nip that delicate area she had just been worshiping. Her teeth burning his flesh, searing her intent against his skin. It was like fireworks went off behind his eyes and before he could register what he was doing, Ben pushed himself up into a seated position. His hulking form encouraged Rey back so that he could sit up and meet her. His hands slid from her hips up and across her back as she perched against him her knees steading her position. If she was startled she didn’t show it. A soft smile playing against those devious lips as her eyes found his. They sat like that for a moment, His hands splayed across her back, her arms pulling his shirt up to the point of uselessness. As if on autopilot Ben removed his hands from her back to pulled the fabric of his shirt up and over his head. Rey, stunned sat back to take in the exposed flesh she had just been awarded. He was all ivory and hard flesh flecked with faint scaring from previous battles. The real extent of the damage was lost on her as her finger trips traced harsh white skin knitted together flawlessly. There was no evidence but the visible, the skin beneath her hands as smooth as bloggin leather. 

His hands steadied his body, arms spread behind him, knuckles braced against the bed. His eyes followed her fingers tracing against age old battle scars earned from sparring matches against his knights. She kept her emotions well locked up but he could tell she felt a degree of concern. Soon he found himself leaning back just a little as her lips descended upon the marred flesh, tracing delicate kisses against each mark and line. His breath came quickly as he watched, her head dipping time and time again, finding new spots against his tormented flesh to worship. Whens she pulled back, eyes lit with something little deeper then affection he watched her curiously. All he wanted was to take her against him, to worship every inch of her body until she shook and quavered beneath his attentions. She closed her eyes and shuddered, clearly picking up on that image. It made him smile as he forced himself forward, hands cupping her face as his lips captured hers in a deep, desperate embrace. His eyes closed as he memorized the way her lips felt, fingers trailing lines against the back of her jawline as his palms cupped her cheeks. Her hands slid up to grasp his own face and for a moment, their lips met in a slow and intricate dance. The movement steady and raw, a battle waltz for dominance he wiling yielded to her. Rey shifted her position, pelvis sliding against his as she raised up above him just slightly. Enough to force him to crane his neck.

She was humming a soft tune of want against his mouth as she inhaled sharply and slide herself back down and along his body. He groaned desperately and she smiled, her body like molten metal hardening against him. Stars’ end, if she didn’t stop that he was going to break. “Rey…” he warned gruffly as her hips shifted again, “Rey…” he growled against her mouth, her hands in his hair pulling delectably at its root. She didn’t listen and he truthfully didn’t want her to. Their lips frenzied as they met again and again, mouths moving on angles, meeting over and over. Warm, blistering heat radiated between their bodies as waves of the force danced and shook against them. Her hips moved again and he shuddered, “Rey,” he groaned this time as she pulled at his hair, his neck arching with the motion. Force be damned she was maddening, her lithe form deliciously positioned, he grumbled and groaned and he could feel how much she liked it. 

“Rey…” he said again, scrabbling for breath. 

“Sorry…” She muttered, kissing the side of his mouth softly, “Did I hurt you?”

He chuckled softly, breathing in soft pants as he shook his head just slightly, “No… no not that. Never that” came his strained reply. “I need you to tell me,” he started, his closed eyes opening to look at her. They were close and he could make out the freckles across her cheeks. Like a constellation he followed them in jumping lines trying to regain some semblance of self control. “I need you to tell me what you want.” 

Confusion settled over her, “You can’t… it’s not obvious?” was her soft reply, lips scrunching in an all too innocent smile.

He drank in the image of her, fingers toying with stray strands of her hair standing out at the nape of her neck. “Oh…” he smiled grimly “no, I can.” he started patiently, “But, I need to know where your head is at.” 

“Why do you always complicate things?” she whined softly, “When you let the force guide you, when you act on instinct, isn't this the conclusion you come to?” 

“Are you ready to take my hand?” he questioned seriously.

When she realized his meaning she paused. Where did she want this to go was what he was asking. He was putting her in control. He wasn’t yelling at her, he wasn’t telling her she was wrong. He was providing her with a moment to think clearly beneath the haze that settled around them. “No…” she replied softly, not mistaking the way he flinched beneath her almost imperceptibly. He was trying so hard to go against his nature. The dark rumblings bubbling up, yet he remained perfectly still. She reached out with her light, winding it around his torment and he smiled sadly at her. 

“I didn’t think you were,” he said sadly, but didn’t push her away. “If we… I’m gonna…” an embarrassing admission she followed his line of thought and nodded softly before shifting off his lap. The loss of her was painful, the cool air biting against his bare flesh. 

She pursed her lips to the side as she looked away from Ben. Sitting on her knees in front of him, he could feel as her force signature wavered as though she were about to disappear on him, “No, no…” he said hastily. Her head jerked up to look at him, “Stay… be with me?” He leaned back onto his side making room for her should she desire the contact still. Desperately his soul hoped she could. Watching as Rey’s eyes moved from his face to the stretch of bedding which awaited for her. His arm laid out in invitation, hand reaching for hers to pull her in. When she finally took it, he pulled her down against his body, her back to his chest, his arm positioned on top worked its way up beneath hers to lace his fingers with her own. He folded her into him, his body rounding protectively against hers. She was shorter then he was by a substantial amount and yet it only seemed to emphasize how perfectly she fit against him. He didn’t care in that moment that her hips seemed to wiggle against his. It was an encouraging motion which he soon realized was more out of an attempt to get comfortable. 

Still, the motion earned her a raspy moan and a breath of warm air across her neck. She smiled at the gesture and settled with a huff of contentment. He could feel her force signature stretch out like a loth-wolf twining itself around him. “And what is it you want Ben Solo?” she inquired with a sleepy yawn. 

He thought a moment before answering, so many things danced through his mind. Images which he wasn’t sure belonged to his mind or hers. “Everything,” he mumbled into the beck of her head, his nose nuzzled there before his chin found a spot on the crook of her shoulder. “More then just this moment. I need to know there’s more then this.” 

“Mmmmm,” she responded through sleepy lips, “there will be,” she seemed to offer bringing a the soft tug of a smile to his own mouth.

“Some things are out of our control,” he answered, his own words falling hushed and sleepy. Days of only catching a few hours at a time seemed to finally catch up with him. The sound of her breathing lulled him into a state of peaceful rest as he held her close. The force seemed to give a contented sigh, as if relief had been given on a rope once torqued with too much tension. 

“Some times we just need to take control,” she replied enigmatically, “and you never answered before?” she added softly.

“Hmmm?” Her peaceful resonance was pulling him down with her. He felt his breathing slow, his nose instinctively nuzzle against her skin before pressing a kiss to her shoulder, “oh… Thirty. I’m thirty” he offered quietly. “How old are you?”

“Nnnndon’t know exactly,” she mumbled, “nineteen, maybe twenty. Lost count, years don’t…” she paused for a yawn and a quick snuggle back into him, “years are funny when you’re alone,” she said finally before her breathing steadied into a quiet slumber. She had his hand, the one that was under her body, held in her own, pressed against her cheek. Everyplace their bodies could be connected, they seemed to be, as if fit together as the final pieces of a puzzle. Her sleep seemed to tug at him, pulling him into a deeper state of relaxation. As though even in sleep she didn’t want to be apart from him. The quiet quickly over took him and he found sleep, glorious, deep and restful. Something he hadn't experienced in a long time. Something he never knew he needed so badly. And, for the first time, there was no darkness, no whispers, only the slightest glimmer of a candle light. She radiated a warm glow that he melted into. Curled around like a moth to a flame. 

When he awakened, she wasn’t there but her body heat still radiated through him. There was warmth and there was quiet before the whispers started again. Like a monster banging down his door they flooded his mind with incessant garble. Sith mutterings and dark prayers with one common theme. 

Bring me the girl.


End file.
